Ladies: Proof that What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

One study claims women suffer more than men after a breakup.
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Breakups can be hard on people, women and men. According to a new study by researchers at Binghamton University, however, women suffer more pain from breakups than men. The flip side, though, is that women come out of that pain stronger and recover more fully--while men tend to move on without ever truly recovering.

The study was based on 5,705 individuals, across 96 countries, who were asked to rate their emotional and physical pain following breakups, on a scale of 1 to 10. Women averaged 6.84 in emotional pain, and 4.21 in physical pain, while men averaged 6.58 and 3.75, respectively.

Craig Morris, lead author of the study, hypothesizes that this is steeped in biology. Simply put, women have more at stake in a relationship. A quick fling could result in pregnancy, followed by childbirth and child rearing, while a man could just move on and never look back. So women have evolved a deeper emotional connection, and when a particularly good mate ends a relationship, they suffer more for it.

Men, on the other hand, evolved to compete for women’s attention, and following breakups, slowly come to the realization that they have to begin competing again. They don’t seem to take the same kinds of lessons from those breakups though, and seem less likely to learn from previous experiences.

Of course, this speaks simply to biology, and doesn’t much take into account differences between human cultures, or the changes of those cultures over time, though it does provide some very interesting information that historians and other social scientists could make use of.

It is still valuable now though, as some people tend to respond poorly to breakups, and high-risk individuals, who can initiate self-destructive behavior following loss, can be much worse off following a breakup. A stronger understanding of the emotional and physical response to grief could help us develop better systems to help people dealing with grief, especially those that might harm themselves or others.

What do you think--are breakups really harder on women than on men? Or do the two simply rate their pain differently? Leave your thoughts on this study in the comments below!

Breaking Up: The Right & Wrong Ways to End It

When ending a relationship, try to do so in the healthiest way possible.
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Most of us, at one point or another in life, have been through a breakup. Sometimes, relationships can end with both parties in mutual agreement, but more often than not, it’s just one person that breaks it off. There are many different strategies that embody healthy and  not-so-healthy ways to break up with a partner. Some leave the relationship on good terms while others will ensure you never will speak to them again.

Here are some of the dos and don’ts of breaking up:

Don’t avoid contact with your partner completely. Be open, up front, and present. Even though breakups are difficult, avoiding your partner will only prolong the inevitable.

Do break up in person, especially if it’s someone you care about.

Don’t blame yourself for the breakup with classic lines like “It’s not you; it’s me.”

Do openly confront your partner by expressing your desire to break up point blank. Try to say something genuine and take ownership of your feelings, like “I’m sorry, this just isn’t working for me.”

Don’t start picking fights and instigating arguments so that they will force the issue.

Do prepare yourself for what you’ll say ahead of time if you’re initiating the break up. If you don’t, you could become derailed and present your points in a less clear way, which will ultimately hurt both of you.

Don’t manipulate the situation by telling mutual friends about your desire to break up.

Do be truthful about why you want to break up…without going into every single detail.

Don’t use indirect methods of communication like text messages, email, or social media to break up with your partner.

In a 2012 psychological study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, Tara Collins and Omri Gillath explained that the confrontational style of breaking up is the most ideal. Participants also rated avoiding the partner as the least ideal method. So unless you are trying to upset your partner, definitely try being open and confront the issue rather than being passive.

What is the healthiest way to break up with a partner, in your experience?