Learning To Love Your Body

One of the things women seem to have the hardest time with is loving their bodies. We beat ourselves up, always finding something to criticize or be unhappy with. I have one friend who is constantly dieting and beating herself up if she slips up and eats a cookie one day. She doesn’t need to lose weight, but she is so afraid of gaining weight that she gives herself a huge guilt trip over every little thing.

I think she’s beautiful, but she finds a million tiny things to pick apart and feel bad about.

Unfortunately, my friend is just one example. The vast majority of women are unhappy with their bodies for one reason or another. Did you know that only 4% of women around the world believe they are beautiful? I don’t know about you, but I look around me every day and I see far more beautiful people than four percent.

Do you think you are beautiful? I'm still working on it, but I'm believing myself a little more every day.

When will we free ourselves from these oppressing standards of "beauty?"
Image: Shutterstock

The problem is that we are holding ourselves to unrealistic standards of beauty, and many women lack the self-confidence to believe in themselves and their beauty. 

Late last month, the New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center held a spring luncheon to benefit the hospital’s Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. The luncheon was attended by New York “it” girls like Lauren Santo Domingo, Sofía Sanchez Barrenechea, and Fabiola Beracasa and hosted a panel discussion called “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: A Conversation About Beauty and Self Image.”

The panel conversation included Dr. Gail Saltz and Dr. Amy Wechsler. “Today’s women are under extraordinary pressure to look physically beautiful and physically young in a way that, frankly, is inconsistent with real life,” said Saltz. “And they’re supposed to look that way while being the superwoman mom who takes care of her family and has a great career.”

So how do we, as women, start treating ourselves better?

In an interview with TODAY, Saltz said it all starts with loving your body—even if it isn’t perfect (whose is?). The trick is everything in moderation. “Rather than starving and exercising like mad I advocate eating sensibly and in a healthy way,” she says, “and learning new skills that are physical, yet suit your personality.”

Essentially, everyone is different. Yes, we all should be active, but it should be in a way we enjoy—why kill yourself doing exercise you hate every day? If running isn’t your thing, try something else, like yoga, dancing, golf, tennis, rock climbing, hiking, or any number of things.

“Spend a day adding up how many minutes you spend criticizing yourself and then ask yourself if there is some other way you would rather be spending that time,” Saltz advises.

What could you do with your extra time?

Average Sized Mannequin Photo Goes Viral

I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s ever walked by mannequins on display at a store and asked, “Really?” It’s not uncommon to see weirdly skinny mannequins sporting merchandise in size 0, safety pinned at the back because it’s still too big. Those clothes often end up being what I describe as “good on the rack,” but not really anywhere else.

The Gap's "Always Skinny" mannequin earned
the nickname "Death Camp Chic"

You know it’s a problem when your bones are literally bigger than what’s supposed to be a full flesh-and-bone representation. Of course, not all mannequins are like that. But the average size for mannequins in the United States is between sizes 4 and 6. This contrasts sharply with the average woman’s size, which is between 12 and 14 according to Women’s Wear Daily.

Mannequins are also blessed with abnormally long figures and limbs, some as much as 6 inches taller and 6 sizes smaller than the average woman, according to the Chicago Tribune. But lately some in the fashion industry have taken a stand against the promotion of anorexic figures, including major gurus like Vogue, which is run by editor Anna Wintour and contributed to by fashionistas like Lauren Santo Domingo.

But now a photo of two mannequins is making the viral rounds on the Internet—and the approval has been overwhelming. The picture depicts two mannequins from an unknown Swedish retail store sporting sets of purple lingerie. What’s special about them is that they actually look like real women. They have hips, breasts, and soft tissue. Their legs and arms look proportional. They are still slim, yes, but in a healthy way.

Average-sized mannequins from a Swedish retailer
are receiving praise for being realistic.

A few worry that making larger mannequins will promote obesity, but to that I say “Pah!” The mannequins aren’t obese; they are a more realistic depiction of what women actually look like. How does seeing a super skinny mannequin help us picture clothing on our own bodies? How does it make us feel when those clothes don’t seem to fit in quite the same way?

The picture surfaced earlier this week on the Women’s Rights News Facebook page with a message attached: “Store mannequins in Sweden. They look like real women. The US should invest in some of these.”

And I have to say, I agree. What do you think?

A Beautiful Pregnancy: Tips and Suggestions

Kate Middleton
Featureflash / Shutterstock.com

Pregnancy changes a lot of things in women’s bodies. Hair and nails begin growing faster, along with the belly and breasts. Pregnant women are often described as having a “healthy glow,” and other physiological changes take place as well.

Because women’s bodies have to work so hard during pregnancy, it’s important to remember to allow for some pampering as well. That glowing look that we see on people like Kate Middleton, Lauren Santo Domingo, and Natalie Portman comes with its fair share of pampering—you can bet those ladies allow themselves to indulge sometimes. So why shouldn’t the average working woman do the same?

Tip #1: Moisturize skin everyday (be sure to use an all-natural moisturizer to avoid unhealthy chemicals!) and exfoliate one to two times per week. This will keep skin “glowing” and prevent splotches from showing up.  That healthy “glow” comes from the increased blood flow that comes with pregnancy.

Lauren Santo Domingo
Image: Claiborne Swanson Frank

Tip #2: Wear sunscreen. Not only will this protect baby from powerful UV rays, but it will also help prevent sunburns. Skin will be more sensitive during pregnancy, which means that even those who don’t often burn might still be at risk.

Tip #3: Enjoy your thicker, faster growing hair. Hair and nails will grow much faster and thicker than normal. Enjoy it while it lasts! Consider a new haircut or color (though if you dye your hair be sure to use vegetable-based dyes or only highlight).

Tip #4: Invest in a good bra. Your breasts will grow during pregnancy, and it will be much more comfortable for you if you invest in a new, supportive bra. Ideally, it should be well fitted and should keep your breasts from resting on top of your belly.

Natalie Portman
Featureflash / Shutterstock.com 

Tip #5: Get a massage. This is one of the most relaxing things you can do during pregnancy. However, be sure that your massage is by a trained massage therapist with a certification in pregnancy massage. Special equipment should be used to prevent pressure on the belly, and some essential oils and herbal body rubs should be avoided.

Tip #6: Have your nails done. Pedicures and manicures are a great way to get a little relaxation in. Be sure that tools are properly sterilized and there is ventilation to reduce toxic fumes. Just keep in mind that your nails are growing more quickly now, so consider light or clear colors that will be less noticeable when they grow out.

 Tip #7: Practice Prenatal Yoga. Doing so will strengthen, stretch, and relax your body.  It can also help keep energy levels up and encourages breathing techniques. Prenatal Yoga includes only poses that are appropriate and safe for every stage of pregnancy, from pre-conception to delivery.