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| When ending a relationship, try to do so in the healthiest way possible. Image: Shutterstock |
Most of us, at one point or another in life, have been
through a breakup. Sometimes, relationships can end with both parties in mutual
agreement, but more often than not, it’s just one person that breaks it off. There
are many different strategies that embody healthy and not-so-healthy ways to break up with a
partner. Some leave the relationship on good terms while others will ensure you
never will speak to them again.
Here are some of the dos and don’ts of breaking up:
Don’t avoid
contact with your partner completely. Be open, up front, and present. Even
though breakups are difficult, avoiding your partner will only prolong the
inevitable.
Do break up in
person, especially if it’s someone you care about.
Don’t blame
yourself for the breakup with classic lines like “It’s not you; it’s me.”
Do openly
confront your partner by expressing your desire to break up point blank. Try to
say something genuine and take ownership of your feelings, like “I’m sorry,
this just isn’t working for me.”
Don’t start
picking fights and instigating arguments so that they will force the issue.
Do prepare
yourself for what you’ll say ahead of time if you’re initiating the break up.
If you don’t, you could become derailed and present your points in a less clear
way, which will ultimately hurt both of you.
Don’t manipulate
the situation by telling mutual friends about your desire to break up.
Do be truthful
about why you want to break up…without going into every single detail.
Don’t use
indirect methods of communication like text messages, email, or social media to
break up with your partner.
In a 2012 psychological study published in the Journal
of Research in Personality, Tara Collins and Omri Gillath explained that
the confrontational style of breaking up is the most ideal. Participants also
rated avoiding the partner as the least ideal method. So unless you are trying
to upset your partner, definitely try being open and confront the issue rather
than being passive.
What
is the healthiest way to break up with a partner, in your experience?
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