Friday, December 16, 2016

Separate Living Spaces Make for Healthier Romantic Partnerships

A couple holding a cut-out of a house. They appear apprehensive about moving in together.
Photo credit: Shutterstock
We’ve all been there. In the beginning, things are great. The butterflies in your stomach are in full spring. You send each other sweet messages all day long. You stay up all night talking for hours. You cuddle every chance you get. Oh, and the intimacy is on point.

But sooner or later, things start to change. Your significant other no longer texts you with the same sweet emojis that they used to. Your sex life has begun to dissipate. All the sudden, anything and everything has turned into an argument. You’re practically at each other’s throats 24/7. You find yourself asking, what went wrong?

Chances are, it’s that you’re spending too much time together.

If you find that the majority of your woes started shortly after the two of you moved in together, you’re not alone. It’s a very common phenomenon, and science has finally proven why. According to a study titled Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships, couples that live apart retain more of the novelty and excitement that exists in the beginning of a relationship.

That’s because when you spend too much time around another person, you eventually get used to it and subsequently take that person for granted. That’s where the lack of appreciation comes from.

And while it’s human nature, that’s not to say that there isn’t something you can do to combat this effect. If you’re already living together and would like to salvage your relationship, here’s what you can do:

·      Spend more time with friends… AWAY from your significant other
·      Plan fun and exciting date nights with your partner
·      Sleep over at a friend or family member’s house for a few nights
·      Join a club, take an art class, begin a new hobby, or go to a social networking event

You wouldn’t believe the kind of difference it can make to have your own personal space. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about it either; yes, we as humans are a social species, but like any other species, we have our limits. The key is finding a healthy balance.