Life Lessons to Learn Before 30

Every person goes through many ups and downs throughout their twenties. From trying to decide which career path to take, to forming important, lasting relationships with friends and partners, there is a lot to learn. I’m not quite at that 30 milestone yet, but I’m getting closer each day. And as I do, I more frequently find myself reflecting on how different my life is today versus the day I turned twenty. It’s a little hard to believe!

It's amazing how much one can learn in 10 years.
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Here are some important lessons that every twenty-something should consider as they enter adulthood:

1. If you work hard enough and don’t stop until you meet your goals, you will eventually get there—or to a different, just as worthy, place.
2. To have friends you must be a friend first. The friends who stand by your side through the years are priceless.
3. You are never too old to be a kid and jump into a colored ball pit.
4. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and motivate you to do better and be better. Keep people out of your life who bring you down.
5. Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes or regrets in your life. After all, some of those “mistakes” could lead to something even better down the road. I try to approach everything with a “no regrets” mindset—I quite literally ask myself “Will I regret it if I do/don’t do this?” Just the simple act of asking gives me so much more clarity when making decisions.
6. Be independent and do not rely on someone else to make you happy. You will eventually have a much stronger and healthier relationship with your significant other if you highly value your own wellbeing and happiness.
7. Create the actual life that you want to have. Stop telling yourself you can’t, and stop settling for less than what you know you could achieve, especially if you know it would lead you to a happier and more satisfied life.
8. Step outside of your own comfort zone and go after something you want.
9. If you don’t like something about your life, it is your own responsibility to change it.
10. Be grateful for what you have in life. Even on the worst days, there is something to be grateful for. Make it a practice to write down one positive thing that happened, no matter how small, each day.
11. If you do not have enough cash to pay for it, you cannot afford it. Put the credit card down.
12. Pay your bills on time, change your oil regularly, file your taxes on time, and be sure to floss. Sometimes, acting like a grownup is so worth it.
13. Be quick to forgive. Don’t hold grudges.
14. Everyone has a story that makes up who they are. Respect differences, because you can learn something new from everyone you meet.
15. Admit when you’re wrong and take full accountability for your mistakes.

Did I forget anything important? What else might you add to this list of life lessons learned before 30?

How to Break Up with a Toxic Friend

It's time to break up with your toxic friends.
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There are many good friends you will come across in life. You know, the ones who will always pick up the phone and sing your praises when you’re not around. As we get older, many people experience their friend groups decrease in size, but the friendships they do have become more intimate. However, as friend groups continue to change, some people will encounter “frenemies” – people who use you as the butt of the joke or make you feel terrible about yourself so that they can feel better about themselves.

Toxic friendships need to be busted. You don’t have to stay in friendships where you are used as an emotional punching bag—because you are worth more than that. Downgrading a friendship isn’t easy, especially if you move in the same circles. Below are some tips on how to navigate a friendship sabbatical.

First take some time to reflect. This could just be a phase in your friendship… or it could be symptomatic of something going on their life. If this behavior continues, it suggests a simmering resentment to you on some level and you will need to deal with it head-on. Evaluate your relationship with this person using a critical lens; if this “friend” is offering nothing positive, it might be time to break up with them.

Second, brave the talk with them. Sit down with this person and be strong. During your conversation, take deep breaths and make direct eye contact. State the facts and address how they are not being kind or respectful to you. Try to be objective rather than hostile. And remember, if they are a true friend, they will show concern and not defensiveness during this exchange.

Then, prepare for the fallout. After confronting them, you might realize that their behavior towards you was just an excuse to blow off some steam, and this conversation could end up making your friendship stronger. You need to be honest with yourself and with them about what you are willing to compromise on and what you aren’t. If this friend isn’t open to altering their behavior towards you, you need to let them know that this toxicity isn’t healthy in your life and that you need some space.

Finally, move on. Sometimes it’s easier to start simple, such as by reducing the amount of text messages and phone calls, invites, etc. until the friendship dies of its own accord. Remember, break-ups aren’t just for romantic relationships, but unhealthy platonic ones too. You’ll be better off for breaking up with a toxic friend so that you can focus your attention on the positive people in your life.